From 60 to 0 in 5 words or How Not To Win Friends

I may not be able to win friends but I can certainly influence people.


I have made my way to Montevideo, Uruguay. A city of 1+ million people in a country to 3+ million. For the first time in 10 years, I have been able to meet with my Uruguayan friend, Carolina.

Today, Carolina and I went to the local street market. The market fills numerous streets in a neighborhood of which I know nothing. Although there were a few new items, mostly hardware goods, most of the table seemed to be filled with many persons' junk. I do not think the stuff could be turned into someone's treasure.

We did come across a table with a guy selling t-shirts. The design on one shirt had a map of South America, upside down or rightside up - depending on your point of view. (It turns out that the design is actually a copy of a work by a famous Latino artist. I did not get his name.)

So, Carolina, the t-shirt guy and I (but mostly the t-shirt guy and I) are discussing the map shirt. From the first word, all the talk was in English. I mention that the design was put on upside down. We seem to have a good laugh. he tells me that it all depends on one's point of view. We're chatting and things seem to be going well with the world upside down bit. He is sticking to his story that the northern hemisphere is not on top of the world.

I ask how much the shirt costs. He tells me USD 12. Since my humor is working so well, I do my best to comment that when he is designing the shirt (at that time i thought it was his design), he put the South on top, but when it came to money, he wants US dollars.

Well, faster than Foreigner could say ' Cold as Ice' we went from a big happy family to 32 degrees F in the shade. He started talking about the US's hands in everyone's business. the word "imperialism" may or may not have been mentioned. The words "I don't want your money and I will not sell you any of my products." were said.

Carolina back away slowly, probably mouthing "I've never seen that gringo." Meanwhile, I am standing there a bit dumbstruck wondering ' what the heck is going on here? i am a funny guy. we were all joking here and having a good time.'

After a moment or two, Carolina stepped in and was able to play Jimmy Carter; Egypt and Israel, or should I should i say the gringos andthe latinos, were able to shake hands. I told the guy I was just joking. He did not have too much to say; he wished me good travels and seemed to direct me away from his table.

Needless to say, there will be no t-shirts with upsidedown maps of south america in anyone's Christmas stocking.

Here's hoping I won't offend anyone tomorrow.

bjm March 2, 2008